Yes you’re single, and it’s your fault

Well, you read the topic of the blog right. You’re single, without a boyfriend or a fiancé and it’s solely your shortcoming. Nobody’s to be blamed. Whether you’re a guy or a woman single and searching or you’ve conditioned your mind to think that being single is the best life you can have at 30+, well you need a paradigm shift. 

Whether you’re straight, bisexual or gay you need a partner. As the popular saying goes, a man without a need for companionship is either a beast or perhaps God.  We are made to need each other. It’s in our genes, our nature! 

In physics, positive attracts negative but in human psychology the opposite is found to be true, like often attracts like. A sad man will often attracts a sad woman and vice-versa. This explains why most are single, they want the best man, the 6ft, 6 pacs man earning a 6 figure salary man while they themselves are nowhere near what any man dreams of. 
In light of this, i decide to look at the popular reasons why people are single and what could be done. 


  1. You don’t go out
One reason why many are still single is due to the fact they don’t go out. Trust me,the man of your dreams is out there and won’t come to your bedroom in search of you. Go out, see the world not only is it good for you, you may likely meet the man of your dreams in the process. You will likely meet the type of man you want based on where you visit often, a tourist may likely meet other tourists in his trips, a man on missionary trips will probably see more religious women i his journeys. In short, where you visit most have a bearing on the type of people you meet. Don’t expect to find a virgin in strip club 😂 

2.) You’re still in fantasy land
We all have a fantasy land. A man we dream of, 6 pacs 6ft earning 6 figures in dollars but we often don’t see the perfect man or woman we hope for. Sometimes we should be ready to settle for less. 

3.) You expect too much
Many men or women expect too much from the opposite sex. Especially women, it’s often as if women think man should be the provider of everything even when they are just courting. A lady in the university expects her boyfriend to buy her food, clothes, creams, jewelries and so on. Seriously, is he your parent? Things like this can chase a man away from you. Learn to be independent and you will command a mans respect. 
4.) Are you the kind every man wants?
Before you start thinking about Mr Perfect, you should ask yourself if you’re what many men out there wants. It’s competitive out there and men just like women wants the best. Whether you’re a man or women you should question yourself if you’re the type of man or woman you can marry, if not, you should aspire to be someone better.
5.) Self Improve
Whether you’re single or not, you must aspire to be a better version of who your are yesterday. Every creature on earth should try to get better, improve! Good characters is a magnet that can seduce any man. It’s a magnet and that’s that’s why character development and other self improvement are areas we need to focus our energies on. Self esteem, sense of humor, good character goes a long way in attracting spouses. 
6.) Religious Barriers  
Like activation energy fences preventing reactions from occurring, so is religious barriers building walls between peoples, killing the chemistry that could have taken place. Many relationships have ended , many can’t even dream of love thanks to differences in religions. I wonder if what should keep us together is not the one thing setting people apart? Even among Muslims(same religion) , Ahmadiyahs don’t want to be engaged to NASFATs, and so on. In Christendom , Jehovah Witnesses won’t give their daughters for a Catholic member and vice-versa (I kept the examples few to save our time) . This begs the question, ‘is religion uniting people or separating them’? 
Singles should see beyond religion and go with their heart. Marrying your pastor doesn’t guarantee eternal bliss while marrying an imam of your congregation doesn’t mean anything in love. Let’s go with the heart. 
Focus on these key areas and you’ll land your dream man or woman like i have landed mine 😂. Happy relationship in advance
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Written by Cynthia Aniston 

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